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Old 18-08-19, 07:09 AM   #701
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hahaha...I see the conection between the Kia owners club now....hahah...
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Old 18-08-19, 07:21 AM   #702
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I just broke my big toe after dropping one my workshop steel toe cap boots on it..
.........oh the irony of it all.........i'll get me coat...
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2007.. 407swgt...2018..3008 1.6 thp gt line auto...owned most models since 1985...phew..
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Old 19-08-19, 10:49 PM   #703
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A male patient is lying in bed
in the hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose,
still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure.

A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath..
Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know, Sir.
I'm only here to wash your upper body.'

He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black?'
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles,
she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the
other, lifting and moving them around and around gently.
Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure
you, there's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!'

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,
'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely.....

'A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s -b a c k ?'
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Old 20-08-19, 09:39 AM   #704
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I couldn't find a pen the other day so I nipped into town to buy one. Unfortunately all the shops were shut. The only place that was open was a Massage Parlor. Mind you, the lady in there was very helpful and gave me a felt tip.
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Old 21-08-19, 09:22 PM   #705
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Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter-speed, that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut..........
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Old 24-08-19, 05:56 PM   #706
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Getting a bit worried about those Amazon fires. My 55" plasma has still not been delivered, and they're not answering the phone......

Paul
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Old 24-08-19, 05:57 PM   #707
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noddy-hol View Post
hahaha...I see the conection between the Kia owners club now....hahah...
Shhhhh
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Old 24-08-19, 07:34 PM   #708
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noddy-hol View Post
hahaha...I see the conection between the Kia owners club now....hahah...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beau View Post
Shhhhh
Haahahahaha!
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Old 26-08-19, 04:16 PM   #709
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Blimey init hot.....anyhoooo...i hear Wales is due to get flooded soon...cant see that myself.....they got too many Leeks.....ahahahahaha.....taxi for nod...wax on wax off
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Last edited by noddy-hol; 26-08-19 at 04:19 PM.
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Old 26-08-19, 06:34 PM   #710
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If women are so
bloody perfect at multitasking, How come
they can't have a headache and sex at the
same time?"
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