Share your favorite jokes

[79alex]

I'm really sure lot's of you are like jokes.

Why not share here your favorite jokes so others can know about it

Below is my favorite joke which is Needles Are Not Nice

Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly.
"Why are you crying?" Bob asked.
"I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill.
"So? Are you afraid?"
"No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.
Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked Bob, "Why are you crying now?"
To which Bob replied, "I came for a urine test!"

Bob was very stupid, thinking his vital will be cut for a urine test

[bettyswollocks]

Did you hear about the spammer that got BANNED

[stevoxsi]

Originally Posted by bettyswollocks

Did you hear about the spammer that got BANNED

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

[colin13]

Never Argue with a Woman.


One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.


Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.


She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
and begins to read her book..


The peace and solitude are magnificent.


Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.


He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.. What are you doing?'


'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')


'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.


'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'


'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'


'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.


'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.


'That's true, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.'


'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.


MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.

[LIUsedCars]

Horse walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Why the bag of oats?"
Haha. Thought I'd add an unexpected twist.

[john_h]

(in tune with spongebob squarepants theme song)

are you ready kids?
aii aii captain
i cant hear you!
AII AII CAPTAIN

ooooooo, who lives in a plastic bag under the sea?
madalaine mc.......

i cant do it, its too harsh

[elmafudd]

Originally Posted by john_h

(in tune with spongebob squarepants theme song)

are you ready kids?
aii aii captain
i cant hear you!
AII AII CAPTAIN

ooooooo, who lives in a plastic bag under the sea?
madalaine mc.......

i cant do it, its too harsh

very very borderline.....

[Gibbo]

Postman knocked on my door this morning.

He said "Is this letter for you? The names smudged"

I said, "Nah mate my names Gibson"

[john_h]

Originally Posted by elmafudd

very very borderline.....

bet ya still laughed though

[elmafudd]

Originally Posted by john_h

bet ya still laughed though

yeah i did....lol.....she used to live round the corner from me so its a bit delicate round here to crack jokes about it.....i was actually wondering if any of you fancied a trip to portugal....i know a good babysitter..hangs on to the kids for years....